Now I’m going to try and be as precise and as careful as I can be in how I say the following, because the last thing I want to do is sound like a pretentious, egotistical jerk…I admit to being a bit of a jerk at times (ask my ex-), but the pretentious, egotistical part I avoid like Covid-19.

I’m going to divorce (and can you hear Tammy Wynette, wailing in the background?) myself from “The Kidding Crewe” other than to use it as it was originally intended to be used, when my good friend and bestest buddy Barb Ewert set it up some time back, and that is as a vehicle to allow me to announce to several of my loyal readers on Facebook that “the Cap’n” had posted a new piece on the Welcome Aboard The R U Kidding blog. Other than to add new members from time to time, I’m going to butt out and keep my big mouth shut from now on. (Don’t any of you dare laugh at that, despite how ridiculous it sounds.)

Okay, now comes the “pretentious, egotistical” part (mumbling prayers to the writing gods here to not let me fuck this up)…I feel strange and somehow awkward with the interplay back and forth between all of us; it’s not that I don’t enjoy it, but somehow I just feel like “the Cap’n” should maintain an aloofness, some aura of mystery if you will, and should be worshiped only from afar (okay, I was just teasing with the “worship” shit).

I don’t mean aloof as in haughty or self-aggrandizing or, once again, pretentious. But I struggle with the dichotomy of being “John, the FB bud” and “the Cap’n” at times. A lot of the time, in fact. (I wonder if Samuel Clemens ever went through this? And OMG, did I just mention Mark Twain and “the Cap’n” in close proximity to each other? I have no shame.) It’s a lot like that meme that a bunch of us were bouncing around recently…(see pic —->)

It’s sure not because I don’t like you guys, or enjoy our repartee (that’s Burmese for “sheep kidneys”); believe me, I do, a lot. But I want to enjoy my friends as “John’s friends” and not as “fans of the Cap’n”. I hope that makes sense. I also seriously hope I’m not stepping on my crank here, which is damned unlikely, given the logistics of length and…uh, never mind.

And please, please know that the absolute last thing on earth I would ever do is to insult any of you…I am so grateful for your support and your “readership” that it makes me a little breathless sometimes. (Jennifer Aniston has always had that same effect on me as well.)

“The Cap’n” and the WATRUK blog exist for one purpose…to bring a little humor, a little joy, a brief respite to my readers from the vagaries of the increasingly hostile world that surrounds all of us, every day of our lives. My sole and oft-stated aim has always been to bring laughter into your lives, if only for the few minutes it takes to read one of my posts. (Pictures of me would achieve the same goal, but I do have my dignity.)

So the next time “the Cap’n” speaks to you will be a few days from now (8/31), when he posts his most recent column (and here’s a hint…think screenplays). In the meantime, the silence will be deafening.

I love you guys a ton…thank you, thank you.

Love and with all humility,

Cap’n John

Post Script…Okay, so how’d I do? Was the “stepping on my crank” thing too much?