“Female Solidarity” by artist Inna Olshansky (above)

I am going way out on the limb here, and writing something that isn’t funny…again, after saying I would never write anything serious a few days ago, this is the second time since I made that promise that I’ve broken it. Mea culpa. (That’s Latin for “Thar she blows!”)

Shit, I’m no more reliable than those assholes in Washington.

So I have an idea re this whole Harvey Weinstein mess…get to that in a minute.

Several things have occurred to me since this story broke, as I am sure they have occurred to others:

a) with no criticism intended of anyone, because I cannot imagine what it must be like to live with having been sexually assaulted, but I so, SO wish that SOMEONE could have stepped up, back when Mr. W first decided to start forcing himself upon young women, and blown the whistle on this guy. I know, easy to say, tough to do, but boy, 30 years of this shit is mind-boggling;

b) I have the feeling, and I may be way off base here, but one of the emotions that I keep sensing in the women who have spoken out is their feeling of isolation, of being on their own, with no support, no one to turn to.

That’s a really shitty feeling…I know.

So here’s my idea, with a caveat in advance…in no way am I, in any manner whatsoever, advocating the use of violence in this idea I’m about to put forth. That is wrong, both morally and legally, and I do not support such activities…I’m also a pragmatist.

I propose that a group of men and women, people who believe that the abuse and/or assault of a woman is just one tiny step above the abuse of children or animals, and as such, reprehensible in the extreme, get together and set up an organization (I’ll even propose a name…”She’s My Sister”) that will then charter, sponsor and establish as many “satellite” chapters as possible, in any city, size not a consideration, where several men and women will volunteer their time (and eventually funding would have to be obtained) to do the following…make phone calls and do surveillance.

Here’s the scenario…a young woman is being pressured by her boss to put out or forget the next big promo; she has no family or friends she feels comfortable sharing this with, so she calls She’s My Sister. She tells her story, gives the name of her abuser, and starts the ball rolling.

She’s My Sister verifies the woman’s story (I’m thinking ex-cops and retired PIs as good candidates…they understand investigation.) Once it’s established that her story is legit, SMS goes to work.

“Hello, Mr. Shitbag?”


“Hi, this is Steve Humongous, I’m with an organization called She’s My Sister; we represent women in this area. We’ve had a report from a Ms. Susan Smith, an employee of yours, who tells us that you have been pressuring her to have sex with you and you have told her that, if she doesn’t, she will not be promoted.”

“Hey, wait a minute, that’s bullshit!”

“Well, actually, Mr. Shitbag, we verified Ms. Smith’s story and it’s not bullshit. So here’s how we’ll proceed…effective immediately, you are under surveillance constantly, Mr. Shitbag; some days for a few hours, some days all day. The thing is, you’ll never know when someone from SMS is watching. And if we see one hint of your bothering Ms. Smith again, we will gather all the evidence we need and see that you are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. We will further notify your employer of your actions. Also, if you attempt to take revenge on Ms. Smith, or in any way harm her because she called our organization, we will also see you are prosecuted for that as well. Of course, all this will take place after you leave the hospital. Do you understand everything I have said to you, Mr. Shitbag?”

The blah-blah-blah after that isn’t important…the message is.

Oh, that thing about the hospital…SMS found out in their investigation of Mr. Shitbag that he might possibly maybe be having a mole removed from his scrotum and could possibly potentially be in the hospital about three hours.

Of course SMS would allow the man to recuperate fully.

But something to keep in mind…accidental falls lead to over 8 million emergency room visits annually.

Just sayin’…

Now here’s a personal message…ladies, if you’re being abused, or pressured or assaulted, in any way and have nowhere to turn, for whatever reason, just call me. Just pretend I’m a one man SMS, okay?

You’re all my sisters…and old man or no, I would love to bust one of these bastards. (I was going to use a stronger word, but I decided to be polite.)

Love and #Metoo,

Cap’n John





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