USERS, IN THE TRUEST SENSE OF THE WORD

In his absolutely hysterical book, Naked Came The Sasquatch, author John Boston writes of a small-town newspaper editor, his main character, who promises a $50 bonus to any of his reporters who can slip the phrase “It was a dark and stormy night…” into one of their stories and into the paper without his knowledge. The gentleman prided himself on never having had to pay the bonus.

However…

It was a dark and stormy night, a night that could sear men’s souls, a night that could cause small children to awake in their beds in fear, and run scared into their parent’s rooms and into the warmth and protection of loving arms, a night that would cause the employees of power companies in Florida to look out their windows and say, oh shit, here we go again. (“Can you say hurricane, children?”)

There’s something about the pic above that, for me, evokes that type of emotional response, even though it’s obvious that nightfall hasn’t occurred just yet. But those dark clouds moving in from the outer edges of the photo bespeak a long and tempestuous night.

Except for the residents of the cemetery…I suspect they don’t give a shit.

But that isn’t what I want to talk about today. 

(Speaking of today, just a quick aside…this is the 76th anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor by the cowardly Japanese, which of course led to our involvement in WWII. To the men who lost their lives that day, and their families, my salute and my most sincere condolences.)

As of this morning, the Welcome Aboard The R U Kidding blog has managed to attract over a 1000 “registered users” (1061 to be exact, and the number grows daily). For a blog that has been in existence just over two months, at the risk of being too self-congratulatory, that would seem like a major accomplishment.

Sadly, it isn’t.

Despite how I sometimes act, and contrary to what some people may believe, I am not stupid. (A little left of center perhaps, but not stupid.) I have been aware for some time, reading other writer’s blogs previously, that there exists in the course, unrefined world of the Internet an enormous number of scheming, uncivilized assholes that use the webpages that belong to people like myself to push their way onto the site and pollute the writing and comments therein with their bullshit.

Comments for merchandise (“try Rip-A-Dick, for those unforgettable erections; she’ll love you for it, and beg for more”), for porn sites (“see beautiful naked Russian women”, right —->), or for some obscure political position (Save The Platypus) or just some obnoxious, stupid shit that means nothing to anyone but themselves (“For dark is the suede that mows like a harvest”). (And thank you to the writers of the screenplay for the movie Mars Attacks for that bit of doggerel.) They say anything they want, insult anyone they want, disrupt the back and forth dialogue between readers/commenters and in general prove beyond a shadow of a doubt what complete fucktards they are.

And all of this is accomplished by them merely by “registering” as a “user” on as many blogsites as they can find. It’s insidious and offensive.

Except for one thing…

The administrator of the site (in the case of the WATRUK webpage, yours truly) can determine how new users, a term I find amazingly apropos for these parasites, are construed by the site; they can be a “contributor” or an “author’ or an “editor”, an “administrator” or best of all, a mere “subscriber”. All of these “roles” have increasing levels of access to the webpage, with “administrator” having total control of the content.

“Subscriber” allows you to register your name and email address; you can comment, such comments being subject to my approval prior to being posted on the page, and that’s it.

Everyone who registers on the WATRUK page is automatically given the designation of “subscriber”, which is my way of a) controlling these assholes and their insertion of offensive content onto the site and b) by doing so, raising my two middle fingers in silent salute to these pricks. 

I apologize for disappointing my loyal readers, who I know come to the WATRUK blog to be entertained…I know this post hasn’t been terribly entertaining. But like most people, I have my “pet peeves”, and this is one of the biggest.

So fuck you “users” who think you can do and act as you please on someone else’s webpage, disrupting the work and effort of people like me who don’t deserve your crap.

Don’t like it? Good, then don’t register on my site. I pay for it, I write for it, I promote it and I don’t want and won’t have scum like you having your say on it.

And what part of “fuck you” didn’t you understand?

Cap’n John

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