PICTURE THIS…

As I am sure it has become readily obvious by now, I am a great fan and practitioner of the photographic arts…I am a very “visual” person (and I suspect I know part of the reason this is the case, but we’ll talk about that another time).

Photos are evocative, bringing out emotions and observations…here are some of mine. (Speaking of mine, that’s one of my fave shots I took when I was living in SoCal above.)

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Is it possible for my nipples to get hard just looking at food? (By show of hands, how many of you were totally creeped out by that? And how many of you think it’s possible?)

Agnes was very concerned about Dr. Bloodworth’s experimental new program, where to effect a cure for ingrown toenails, a series of holes are drilled in the patient’s cranium, thus causing all the brain fluid to leak out. While the procedure didn’t exactly “cure” ingrown toenails, with your brain fluid leaking out on the floor, who cares about toenails?

Doesn’t it look like these two players looked up and had the same thought, all at the same time…”why is there a photographer on the field in front of second base taking pictures during a game”?

Many people believe that there exists a relationship between the size of a man’s hands and the length of his penis…I cannot validate that claim, but I will say this: if the above correlation were made between a man’s feet and his johnson, then this kid has to be hung like a Clydesdale. Geez.

“SMUG ALERT…SMUG ALERT…ALL SMUG REMOVAL OFFICERS WILL IMMEDIATELY REPORT TO 47TH ST. AND FIFTH AVE. FOR A REMOVAL OPERATION. PRELIMINARY WORD IS THAT A GIGANTIC AMOUNT OF “SMUG” WAS RELEASED AT THIS ADDRESS MOMENTS AGO. ONCE AGAIN, THIS IS A FULL SMUG ALERT. REPORT IMMEDIATELY. ENDS.”

…the film canister is probably a 55-gallon drum…

“Tommy, it’s time for bed.”

“SuperBot, go forward and destroy the Mom Unit.”

“Tommy, go to bed now, sweetie, or Mom will pull your gonads off and hang them from your earlobes like tiny earrings.”

“Night, Mom.”

“Night, dear.”

Rosie v1.2.5 (it took him five tries to get the nipples right, and yes, that is creepy).

Rosie v5.6.3 (below)…

…I think Rosie has a cute butt…

Gotta’ tell you, I was stumped on this one. Caption, anyone?

Oh I don’t even think so…

…fritters…

That’s all we time for today, boys and girls, but tune in again next week, when we’ll visit Robert “Stumpy” Bilstein, who will show us around his live piranha farm.

Ooohh, I’m so excited I think I peed myself a little.

Sorry.

Love and zoom lenses,

Cap’n John

                                                 !!!! GO DODGERS !!!!

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